by Kernie Ganteaume, RN, OCN
(View bio)In my years of caring for people with cancer, I've met many wonderful caregivers who took their responsibilities very seriously. But I've also seen some who forget to stop and think about how important it is for someone with cancer to still have some control over what they are going through.
I thought it would be valuable to share some of my reflections on the role of the caregiver. Here are some of the things that I've seen that work—and others that don't work.
As a caregiver you are an integral part of the treatment team. Your responsibilities may range from shopping, meal preparation, bathing, and dressing to administering medicine, transportation to and from appointments, and bill paying. Anything that the patient is unable to attend to in their daily life often becomes the responsibility of the caregiver.
Nevertheless, don't assume too much responsibility from your loved one; this could leave them feeling helpless and powerless. It's important that you not take away all day-to-day decisions. A sensitive caregiver finds out what their loved one's needs are, and remembers that these will change over time.
No matter how close you are to your loved one, you still have to keep communicating. Ask them what they need, what they want, and how you can make life easier for them. Some people with cancer prepare themselves by taking control and undertaking extensive research on their illness. Others find it too overwhelming and cannot cope with more than the most basic information. Talk to your loved one about how they feel and what level of information they need.
Let the patient decide, together with their treatment team, what treatment option is appropriate. Give them the power to plan their day and decide what they want to do, and with whom, as well as when they would like to eat and rest.
Be sure to take care of yourself. Emotionally and physically, your role as a caregiver can be extremely demanding, and it may become a full-time commitment. Express your feelings to a loved one or a trusted family member. Join a local support group to find out how other families and caregivers respond to their roles as caregivers. Your doctor, the treatment team you are working with, the Internet, the local library, and support groups are all sources of valuable information to help you.
As a caregiver, it is important that you look after your own health so that you are able to continue in this vital role of caring for a loved one with cancer.
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